While going on family outings, sharing meals at home, and doing other such activities together help strengthen the family bond, praying together may foster a kind of closeness between parents and children – and between siblings – that goes more deeply than what shared fun and excitement can bring.
Lenni Manalang Garcia and her five siblings, father and mother took turns leading the rosary, which the family prayed together daily. The tradition led to something unintended besides keeping in mind people who were in need of prayers, since the prayer leader provided a specific intention for each mystery.
“It was here where my parents would learn about our individual concerns, like doing well in a particular subject or a school competition, or whatever material thing we were saving up for,” Garcia said.
“As we all matured through the years, our intentions were maturing as well. The rosary became an unintentional tool for my parents to hear our desires and to be connected to us as they hear us voice out what we’re thankful for or what bothered us during those times,” she explained.
“I can say, that the good relationship I have now with my parents and siblings was because we prayed every day. I’m thankful that my parents insisted and persevered to pray every day,” she added.
Trying to “escape”
Garcia clarified, though, that just as what happens to many others at that age, she wasn’t always raring to take part in the nightly family prayer during her teens. Tons of school work was sometimes an attempted excuse in high school to stay in one’s room instead – with unsuccessful results – then late nights out during college years were used as another reason why the rosary “had to be” missed.
“But my parents moved rosary time to [a much later time] to avoid that excuse,” Garcia recalled.
Later as young professionals, the parents would establish a guideline that had everyone taking part in the family prayer before any movie, dinner or any other gimmick elsewhere, and the siblings eventually adjusted to the routine. Also, maturity brought with it an adjustment on the attitude regarding the practice.
“Sometime growing up and getting older, saying the rosary was no longer a chore. We’d gladly do it anytime my parents would invite us to pray or sometimes, we’d offer to do it on our own,” said Garcia, now married and the mother of a baby boy.
She also shared the interesting story behind her parents’ initiating the nightly family rosary:
“We started praying the rosary after dinner as a family when the gulf war in 1990 began. I was 10 years old. We prayed for world peace every day until the war ended.”
However, even as the Middle East crisis ended, the household family rosary continued.
Paul de Guzman, on the other hand, went for many years without any thought given to family prayer time. The habit was not established at home while growing up, many years of which involved an absentee father.
“I learned a little Catechism from school but not enough to give me a solid foundation,” he said, explaining the ambivalence toward any spiritual practice till way after he entered adulthood.
He did have an aversion to praying in groups – which is why he shunned the idea of a family rosary for a long time – owing to unpleasant experiences involving his grandmother.
“The only one at home who taught me how to pray was my lola, with a stick ready to whip me just in case I didn’t follow”.
Also, while the praying of the rosary was ingrained in school, stick-wielding school authorities prevented any trace of fondness for the prayer from developing in the youngster.
Renewed appreciation of family prayer
De Guzman, now a husband and a father of five, has experienced a renewed appreciation of faith practices, including the St. Dominic-established prayer.
He credits his wife for energizing him spiritually and leading him back to the Catholic faith.
“I learned so much and have been able to put into practice [the praying of the rosary] with my own family. I also make sure each member leads our prayers,” the 41-year-old related.
De Guzman stressed that force and punishment are not good ways to inculcate an authentic prayer life in one’s children.
“Ang importante, repetition and done by example,” he pointed out. “My kids indirectly found prayers as something part of everyday life to do. Even at table instant na sila in leading.”
For both de Guzman and Garcia, praying as a family – whether it’s the rosary, grace before and after meals, bedtime prayers or any spontaneous prayers offered together – has done much to nourish a healthy and God-centered family life – one focused on the essentials in life.
“I think praying as a family helped keep us all rooted in the essence of being a family,” mused Garcia. “We always had time to share stories about our days before and after the rosary. We’re a family of eight and it wasn’t always easy to gather the troops but we managed to at least share and talk to each other every day. It’s not always like that with the families of my friends. The rosary led us to have a strong family relationship. The rosary fixed sibling rivalry fights. Praying reminded us of our relationship with one another.”
If his family didn’t pray together, “Probably the bond wouldn’t be as strong as what we have right now,” said de Guzman. “Maybe we wouldn’t have an open communication like we do kasi in our prayers may sharing din.”
“Praying the rosary brought us together as a family and gave us the chance to really get to know each other intimately. There were days when we wouldn’t be together for a few nights but we still carried on praying even if we were apart,” Garcia added. (CBCP for Life)
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